Cinderella was doomed to be a house slave until that special event where she would meet “him.” Snow White was all but dead until the Prince planted a kiss on her… and Ms. Sleeping Beauty? She was cursed into a coma until her ‘true love” came to rescue her. Is it any wonder that we women grew up thinking that we needed a man to complete us… to “save” us? Now, I’m all for love, don’t get me wrong. I am a romantic through and through, but I think the fairy tales we grew up watching have robbed us from feeling whole, apart from anyone else, to say the very least. I wasn’t even aware of it at the time, but when I was young and single, my main concern was to find love, and I’m certain that these fairy tales are the reason why.
I love romance. I love the idea of true love and happily ever after. And I’m fortunate to say I have this in my life today (fingers crossed). But, it didn’t happen in my twenties or even my thirties. Yes, I was 43 when I met “Mr. Right.” I had never been married (came close) but never got to the point where I could look a man in the eye and say, “I want to spend the rest of my life with you.” Now, in my particular case, I wasn’t ready for a healthy relationship until my forties. I had too much to get right with myself before it would have been fair for me to share my life with someone else.
My thinking about relationships and finding true love have changed dramatically over the years and even though I’m happily married, I know that life can sometimes throw us a curve ball. I trust my husband, but I can’t say for certain that he won’t do something to jeopardize our relationship somewhere down the line. Unfortunate things happen, people make grave mistakes. I have chosen to love and trust him, as he has chosen to love and trust me. It’s all good, but should something happen, I will not slip into a coma like our dear Ms. Sleeping Beauty.
It really is so imperative that women view “falling in love” as a wonderful possibility in life and NOT life itself. And I believe with all my heart that love between two people cannot be forced or rushed or planned and that it happens in God’s time, not ours. When you look at it this way, it takes the pressure off. When you relinquish control to the universe and trust that “he” will come when it’s meant to be, you are free to live your life fully and happily without being affected by the curious friends and family who love to inquire, “So…are you seeing anyone?”
“So what if it never happens?” you might ask. My response to that question is that the worst result would be that you had lived your life to its fullest without a lifelong, committed relationship. Bummer, right? Maybe. Maybe not. There are many perks to being single as there are being in a loving relationship. There are also difficulties and challenges with both the single and married life. So, be okay with missing a few nights out on the town, go the gym without make-up on, do something you’re passionate about without being concerned that it may be taking time away from your “search.” Date, have fun, DON’T SETTLE, be yourself and continue to grow into the person God has intended you to be IN AND OF YOURSELF and love will find you when it’s time!
Here’s to YOU and not letting your relationship status dictate your happiness!
With Love, Karen Michelle Miller